My Journey To Cortland For TEDx - A Look Deeper
I set the goal back in January to have my talk complete by May 2nd, my 55th birthday. Ron and I set off early on Wednesday, May 3rd, to meet nine other speakers in Cortland, NY. on Thursday, May 4th - close enough!
State University New York, Cortland is a small campus town 30 minutes south of Syracuse. I rehearsed in the rental car with Ron, I think he was sleeping. I didn’t mind, he’d heard it so many times, we joked that if I couldn’t do it, he could. I’m grateful to have him, even if he does have a “resting judging face”, when I rehearse.
I wondered if the other speakers were nervous. They had to be. It’s a TEDx event! I’ve watched them for years. Some were good, some ok, but not be of them were me. I’m a person who reads the crowd and has a tendency to follow the mood or a question, but there is no interaction during a TEDx talk. As a facilitator, I know the answer is in the room, but in this case, it’s all coming from me. The interaction from a laugh or a facial expression feeds me. But I’ve never had a time limit like this or felt this type of pressure. What if I blank?
There are a hundred tickets sold and I only have 15 minutes with pauses. I can’t afford to blank or get off track. Focus. Take your time. Use your pauses. Don’t move your hands too much. UGH!. I’ll be fine. The funny thing is, I most likely won’t even remember what I said when it’s all over.
One thing is for certain, this talk comes from a personal experience that had a profound, positive impact on my life. It’s authentic, personal, and full of integrity. I’ve had many “wow” moments in my life and I’ve worried about all of them. Each time I’d look back on the experience with pride and accomplishment. This will be no exception.
On Thursday, May 4, 2023, at 7 pm, I will step onto that stage and pause for a few seconds, taking it all in as I scan the crowd, feeling my heartbeat, and taking in a long, cleansing breath as I and thank God for this opportunity. When I’ve filled myself with all I need, I’ll smile and count down silently in my head and begin, 3 - 2 - 1,… “Have you ever stepped out of a conversation because you felt unsafe?”. Yeah, this will be no exception.
Enjoy.